9 years to say it

my mother taught me the alphabet backwards
and laughed at my dyslexic tendencies thirteen years later
laughed when i couldnt translate your humorless voice into a sing-song poem, written from the bed of a run away shelter
she took every letter with my name on the envelope
folded them up
swallowed them down
felt the curved lines of my lost sister, lied and said she ran back to the south
now your agonizing haiku's grow in the belly of our dead weather mother
oragami cranes, im so sorry i never saw them drift away
i wasnt allowed to know you had secrets to tell

torn up scaffold, holding brick facing down
chipped china finds comfort in my curls
you pull the opal flakes out and sprinkle it over my eyes which refuse shelter without your permissive hands
im a puppet when you are in me
stilted legs lifted over shoulders, heaving
whiskered cheeks, whiskey lick
busted lip, thrusting hips
deeper into my marionette mouth
over felt tongue you've come hard
troubled body, dont you lie
tell me tell me tell me
does the world blows harder though me now?
now
now that we've fucked like lonely siblings in my childhood room
now
we keep the windows closed, bodies pressed tight in vacuum sealed quarters
dont smile, i'm only comfortable when you want to die

i've got satan's touch

quarter beats, strung up
neck, throat, esophageal corresponding points
thoughtless collision on the front step of some building
kicked over cans, my mind is wet
just go home
just go home
heels in dust devils, memory serves right...you forgot to fight, i left my shock with a girl i kissed
too young, unfurnished homes
fatherless
brotherless
i'm fearing sex in the wake of absent revelations
flipped switch, broken bottle, tangled mane
tangible pains of uncertanty
hello, goodbye
awake, alive
delaying involuntary movements
the dialation of pupils
the internal grinding
something now, less then, hurts more, or less,
but really
who gives a fuck
we're more than a little lost
goodnight, goodnight my love, my motherless vessel