everytime i try not to be invisable someone steps on my toes

i was never the daughter of a virgin, and so i have never known modesty to be a virtue. is it so difficult to wrap your mind around the fact that i was born a lush. i came out of the womb and into the world kicking and screaming for another man to break, a final drink to finish, a last look at a world not round enough to fill with my secrets.i've grown into a tangle of frozen ropes wound tight over broken kettles. my mother is a starfish strung from a ceiling rafter in my room, cut off one limb and she grows ten others. i am parasitic and numbing, decent and graceless. i was once an island, filled with natives and generations of godless wars, until i became notoriously androgenous and sunk to the oceans floor. no more men to decieve, just time without numbers, and forever felt like forever, because ugly things never tire.